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really need opinions!!! help!

by sez1077 @ 2007-08-19 - 21:09:46

I'll start at the begining. My friend sarah (although she has stabed me in the back that i have writen about in previous posts) has a boyfriend called mike, until recently he worked at Iceland with me sarah, dave, soph and sophs mum (as well as other people but these are just the ones included in this). Dave and mike went on holiday a while ago with some other of their mates and today sophie swears me to secracy and then tells me that her mum told her mike cheated on sarah on this holiday. Her mum heard it from dave.

So now i have to make the decision of telling sarah or not. I feel the right thing to do is to tell her because he can't love her if he did that, and theres no saying he won't do it again. But on the other hand if i do mike and sarah will split up, mike will hate me and probably know it was dave who blabed so fall out with him, sophs mum and soph will also be in trouble with dave, but ultimately it all comes down to mikes fault but people never see it that way do they. Also there is no way of telling that sarah will actually believe me, or mike could just say dave was lieing and dave might actually say he was, or dave could actually of been lieing about it, i wouldn't put it past him..

What does everyone think i should do? I can't go and tell mike i know because then people who i found out through will still get into trouble and he might just deny it, what proof will i have? I might believe him. I can't go and ask dave if its true either because firstly we're not talking and secondly he could just deny it aswell. I need some way of getting them to tell me the truth, but without anyone else finding out that i know. Any suggestions?

also I'll add that I don't know if sarah would tell me the truth if it was me being cheated on, shes chosen not to get into trouble over telling me stuff before. But is being a good person different from treating people the same way they treat you?


 
 

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philghodgphilghodg [Member]
2007-08-19 @ 21:18

Its a difficult one.

If you don't tell and it ultimately comes out that you did know then you'll probably be in the mire too

It's a case of damned if you do, damned if you don't.

If they are friends who you value, and who value you, maybe you should talk to them as a concerned friend about rumours going around.

If there is something to it, then it probably needs to come out into the open before too much hurt gets done.

If there isn't, then the rumours need nipping in the bud.

Just my thoughts.

Hope it works out for you

sez1077sez1077 [Member]
2007-08-19 @ 21:22

i dont value dave or mike and they dont value me either. i only value soph and her mum. its such a confusing mess! thanks for the help xx

philghodgphilghodg [Member]
2007-08-19 @ 21:33

If you don't value mike and he doesn't value you AND Sarah would probably keep the truth from you if the roles were reversed I'd just keep stum and let them stumble thru it themselves.

Sounds harsh and from the posting it sounds like you're quite a caring person so it may be hard but I'd stick to looking out for the people you care about and you can depend on.

We can't take on the cares of everyone. I know that from experience.

Hope this is helping as its meant in all earnestness and in no way trying to minimise your dilema

sez1077sez1077 [Member]
2007-08-19 @ 21:35

yeah i understand what you mean. I think it's what i'm going to have to do in the end. xx

philghodgphilghodg [Member]
2007-08-19 @ 21:37

Good luck. Whatever you choose to do is the right thing

TheJinxyTheJinxy [Member]
2007-08-19 @ 21:38

It's tricky but people often shoot the messenger anyway. I think it's best to let people find out for themselves and if it gets out that you knew you can say that you didn't know it was a fact and you didn't want to spread rumours around.

kenanphoenixkenanphoenix [Member]
2007-08-19 @ 21:42

make a new email and send her one about this...
i don't know if it'll work with you, but i did like that once.
it worked :yes:

Definitely tricky (that much is agreed). Could you invite them all to the next Gay Pride march in Brighton?

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